This is what I'm giving up this year for Lent. And I'm giving it up because it will be hard to give up. Should I make it several things? We'll see, because planning even remotely into the future for now is on my list of things to give up.
1. Worry. I love worrying. I love running figures up and down in my brain, day in, day out. I enjoy it. I enjoy worry. I used to think that my great moments shone through after a big worryfest. Gary pointed out to me that no, irrational thinking and conclusion jumping usually comes through excessive, self-induced worry. So that's off the list.
2. Hyper-planning. I love to plan. I love to list, I love to think "where we'll be" in five, ten, fifteen years. Well, life has proved to me that you don't plan things like this. Try to save a little money, squirrel it away, live simply and happily. Don't plan. Go away little planner. Seat of your pants. Keep people safe. Plan to drive your financed truck across the country? No. That didn't work. Good thing, too. Even typing this is reminding me of planning and lists and brings me back to obsessive worry. Gone. Over. Poof. Now.
3. Chocolate. Because I eat too much of it. Just for Lent, though. Just for Lent.
4. Reserve, for obvious reasons.
5. Hesitation and Procrastination. Sound contradictory to #2? Not really. I need to do several things. Planning for the "future" prevents these things from happening. Do it now. Write more now. Save spare change now.
I'm doing this for my son, my husband, & myself. If we're to ever have more children, I need to be fully aware and fully myself. I wish I could have given that to Xander his first four years. I wish I wouldn't have worried so much. No more wishing away, either.
6. No more wishing away minutes, hours, days, years.