If I allow myself to sink there, to fall down the rabbit hole of "working mother's guilt", I probably won't be able to get back up. When he was a baby I listened to all sorts of snarly mothers on message boards and in person, who would berate other mother's choices. Sometimes I was that berating mother. I didn't work until Xander was almost two. I tried once when he was 14 months and it was terrible. He contracted rota virus his first week at daycare and I didn't go back and neither did he. I felt guilty that I wasn't contributing to the family income, and now I feel bad that I'm not spending all day with Xander like I used to.
This is probably the most "mommyblog" you'll find me on here. Ever. I have no epiphany today, as today is Sunday; that most bittersweet of all days of the week for me. Before I had children I never thought of the women I worked with who had their own children as less than stellar mothers. Why do I see myself that way?