I have that pleasant little first day of almost Spring feeling right now.
…that time of year that you open the windows for the first time, even though it’s still 25 degrees outside. There’s so much sun it seems a sin to keep the windows closed and not allow the birdsounds inside. It’s pleasant, and it’s spreading. I could almost turn around in this chair and see directly inside the dream I had when we first moved into the apartment, that night I went to bed shaken for a reason that shouldn’t still bother me but does. (My reaction is what bothers me)…and I dreamt that night that yes, the volcano erupted, everyone’s pallor was grey, and I turned around in my chair and there she was, Mary, Our Lady, looking all like the icons show her. Face like an upside-down teardrop, eyes almonds, hair long, straight, lanky, smooth. Wearing jeans and a sweater. All she did was smile. That’s all she had to do. She held her hand out. Things went whirling past the windows. She held her hand out. I took it. It was cool to the touch. She smiled. I smiled. I woke up. Spring.
New things that aren’t things. New feelings that aren’t new, something you felt many years ago as a child, when your mother opened the screen door for the first time that year and let the cool air in. Did they lose that house? What happened there? We’ll lose ours. It’s all right.
I think I should buy plants. Whoops no money. That’s ok.
It’s spreading, is it here? Enchanted March?