Every day I sit down at my computer and start my day with the LA Times Horoscope:
Aquarius (Jan. 20-Feb. 18): Be wary of any situation that asks you to take it seriously. If there really appears to be no room for silliness, avoid it.
This is now officially my DOGMA. If you can't grab silliness by the balls and hail Bill Murray & Chevy Chase, then you need to hightail it out of there. Take your business elsewhere. If Wilford Brimley doesn't ride up on his horse and advise you to check your bloodsugar and check it often, G*d dammit then you need to change your point of view.
After I read the LA Times horoscope I punch over to the Evening Standard one. It's called, "Your Stars by Shelly Von Strunkel." That's silly. She tells me today essentially not to listen to boring people:
"You have a tremendous respect for the individuality of others, which means you'd never attempt to convince them to try something you know doesn't interest them. But not everybody is as conscious of how irritating this is, as you're learning to your chagrin. Forget about being polite. Simply tell them, and bluntly, that their ideas hold no fascination for you."
But those people don't know that they're boring! It's not their fault...they don't think they're boring. For crying out loud, I could be totally snorrrrrrrrrish to everyone else. Please don't tell me I am! Not plainly and bluntly! That's just hateful, Von Strunkel, that's hateful!
Next I go to the Chicago Tribune:
Aquarius (Jan. 20-Feb. 18): 6. Be watching the ground for spare change and dollar bills. There's an indication you'll stumble upon some kind of treasure now.
That's usually the last one I go to, but with this kind of horoscope, looks like it's going to take precedence over Von Strunkel.
No titles on the posts. Because I don't put titles on real journal entries. Not that I've had real journal entries in years and years. Or year and year.